Final Score: Cerro Porteño 1, Olimpia 0.

(Game starts a few minutes after 3pm... henceforth the numbers given are minutes into the game... Note, this is live-blogging from a person who knows little about soccer... But I do know the off-sides rule, which in Paraguay is called "Sigh!" when fans sees that it's violated.)

4:00 Gameplay stops because something happens and the overweight and underdressed tecnicos are on the field yelling at the ref. I think it helps that the ref is taller than anyone else and thus intimidating.

9:04 The police are on the field trying to deal with the scuffle between the two teams. I thought the Paraguay vs Chile world cup qualifier was a dicey game (I did sit in the cheap side and had my phone stolen), but the added security already seen to be needed on the field at Defensores del Chaco puts things in perspective.

10:45 Bad haircut CP dude is being moved from the field

11:10 They're playing again

12:29 Carly decides we need beer stat. I have chipa from yesterday morning. We're ready.

19:29 Here are the odds for the game, should you decide to wager.

20:25 "How is the goalie wearing long-sleeves and long pants? It's ["really," original phrase redacted] hot outside," says Carly.

22:25 Cerro seems to be much more up in the ref's business. I wonder if they feel victimized or if they're just feistier

22:58 Ugly haircuts abound!

23:36 Olimpia Corner shot! Goalie blocks it. "Arquero" in Spanish.

24:50 GOAL!!!!! Cerro put one in. The stadium erupts.

25:49 Fireworks in CdE. Also, looks like an Olimpia player accidentally aided in heading it in. Cerro 1, Olimpia 0.

28:27 FIFA writes about the old rivalry between Cerro Porteño (founded 1912) and Olimpia (founded 1902).

The club took its name from a battle fought in 1811 between the Paraguayan army and Los Porteñas (the forces of Buenos Aires) in the area around Cerro Mbae (Mbae Hill).

The first scheduled match between the two sides was cancelled when Olimpia failed to turn up, and there are various accounts of what happened when they finally did meet. According to some sources Cerro won 3-1, while others claim the game ended in a 2-2 draw. Whatever the result of that inaugural match was, the fact is that over the next six seasons Cerro won the league three times and Olimpia twice, marking the start of a fierce rivalry.

32:41 Coca-Cola is a sponsor of both teams.

41:58 Fight Fight Fight on the field! Olimpia dude went down. CP yelled at him. The national police again run on the field.

43:55 Yellow card... for someone, I don't even know who.

44:17 Red card ejection for someone on Olimpia. Correction, two dudes walk off the field.

46:07 Olimpia still arguing with ref, who writes on his yellow card

49:27 Red card... Apparently Olimpia loses another player and they're down to 8 players. Number 4 walks off the field.

HalfTime: Fireworks again go off in CdE. I feel a bit sorry for Olimpia.

Consummately Pyan ad for Taiga. Excellent production quality and touches all the right notes for what it's like to live in Paraguay.



Oh, it appears sometime last half Cerro Porteño also got a red card... they're down to 10 players (compared to Olimpia's 8).

1:54 No fights so far.

8:10 Yellow card for another Olimpian (a dude who was sitting on the bench approached the head ref and complained about a call and got a yellow card... didn't know this was possible).

9:26 Olimpia is playing better with 8 than with 11. Um, weird.

17:25 Really, whoever they removed from Olimpia and whoever they substituted in has made them noticeably better. The announcer says "Olimpia está complicando..." (they're making things difficult). Still Cerro Porteño 1 Olimpia 0.

19:07 Olimpia arquero stops a shot.

23:15 Olimpia arquero saves one again.

31:51 There's so much garbage on the field and the riot police, with metal shields, are on the corners of the field raising their shields to block debris as a Cerro Porteño player takes a corner shot.

39:13 More of the same: running across the field, falling down and crying at anything, not scoring. But, here's a screenshot of Ultima Hora's story about the first half.

Criminal aggression from Cerro's fans against Dario Caballero (wherein a Cerro Porteño fan launched a projectile against the Olimpia player and drew blood. Stay classy.)




43:03 Olimpia's goalie continues to earn his keep. But his team continues not to score.

45:00 3 extra minutes on the clock (unlike what happened in the first half when something like 11 minutes were added).

Final: Cerro Porteño 1, Olimpia 0.

Fireworks in CdE. They could also be gunshots, who knows.

National police take to the field in Asunción, along with the riot police.

The teams don't even shake hands as they exit the field.

CP leap in rhythm with their fans.

Olimpia team gestures to their hearts and proudly point to their team seal.

Shirtless Olimpia fan shows off a tattoo over his heart: the Olimpia seal.

Here John and William Parish Robertson reminisce on their days (1815-ish) in the Southern Cone. I think these guys are brilliant writers, witty, entertaining, informative...

Speaking of Argentina:

It would scarcely be believed in this country [i.e. the UK], where, although contraband is so much encouraged by our legislature, it is so terribly persecuted by our courts of law, and where court favor is so imploringly, so abjectly sought, yet so dearly paid for, what a handsome amount of the customhouse revenue, and how large a portion of diplomatic influence, Don Agustin Saenz, captain of the polacca Florentina, could purchase for half a dozen barrels of London bottled stout....The captain's double brown stout was omnipotent; and if Mr. Guinness (unknown in our Corrientes days) would establish a porter brewery there, like the one he has in Dublin, I have no doubt he might buy up a large portion of the country, and turn it into a hop-garden for the supply of the world.

Yes, even those two lines have it all: coimas (bribes), contraband, a meandering British legal system, and the sad state of beer in this part of the world.

"Bachongo, the Superhero in the East in the War Against Potholes"
(real translation of real article!, photo credit Ultima Hora)

With wide-eyed amazement, people ask me "are you okay?" when they hear that I'm living in Ciudad del Este, Paraguay. They've heard and read descriptions that make it sound like Mos Eisley. My answer is usually a shrug and a comment about how all the restaurants are closed by 2pm and there isn't a single movie theatre in the city that supposedly brings in about 40% of Paraguay's GDP (read: not terribly exciting... also, how am I supposed to watch District 9???).

But today was a perfect maelstrom of the malevolent in Ciudad del Este, almost as if orchestrated for an action/adventure movie:

1) Lebanese merchant ("comerciante") Ali Zaioun (Zaium?) narrowly avoided being assassinated in a clear hit job as he and his lawyer left the Palacio de Justicia this morning. As he approached his BMW, two men with helmets on a motor cycle approached and opened fire. Fortunately, Zaioun's guard pulled his gun and was joined by some cops. Zaioun was untouched. His car riddled with bullets. The assailant who died during the battle was also a police officer--badge and handcuffs in a pocket. The one who lived is wounded, in the hospital, and still to be questioned...

2) Meanwhile, today a Paraguayan immigration officer was arrested for issuing a false passport and national id card to a Colombian woman. Colombian lady was supposed to fly into Spain on her fake Paraguayan passport. She, the immigration officer, and two Paraguayan women have been detained. We'll see what happens.

3) Two drug mules arrested in Brazil yesterday with 137 kilos of marijuana explained today that they acquired their cargo in the middle of Ciudad del Este and were headed to the capital of Paraná state, Curitiba. Wholesale value on the street? Some $300,000.

4) The son of a Brazilian couple (all living in Paraguay) is still missing after being kidnapped Friday by cops (or perhaps a couple of men pretending to be cops).

Really? Does it have to be like this? This is also the only city in Paraguay where I know you can get bubble tea and the Korean food is excellent.

As an increasingly popular go-to site for adventure, organized crime, and a bit of the exotic, the border zone where Argentina, Brazil, and Paraguay meet (and where I live, doing my dissertation research) will once more be an earth-bound Mos Eisley.

Here's the full article from the New York Times, but the most pertinent part is:

Variety reported that Ms. Bigelow, the director of action films like “The Hurt Locker” and “Point Break,” had struck a deal with Paramount Pictures to direct a new adventure movie for the studio called “Triple Frontier.” Few plot details about the new movie were given, except that it is set at a border zone shared by Paraguay, Argentina and Brazil where organized crime is rampant.

Swine flu has followed the footsteps of winter. After killing plenty of people in the Northern hemisphere, it's made its way down south, to spread here (and being especially nasty in Argentina). Reports in Paraguay have the number of deaths at 22, but my trust of health care and health statistics in this country is non-existent and I'd rather take my luck with traditional healers than step through the doors of anything resembling a hospital or clinic. So, given that most of the flu in this country is H1N1, my guess is that more than 22 have died. And I've basically taken to carrying disinfectant hand gel and taking zinc vitamins to stay healthy.

And then the news came last week: Brazilians have been coming in droves to buy Tamiflu (oseltamivir phosphate) without a prescription in the pharmacies of Ciudad del Este. Supplies of the anti-retroviral drug are basically out in Brazil (Argentina didn't even have hand sanitizer when I was there two weeks ago, so I don't even know what to think of its medical supply) and so thousands cross the border in search of the real thing or generic imitations--called Laporcina, Oselta, and Biosid.

Sure, this is something that should only be administered under doctor's orders. And there's enough contraband and pirating in Ciudad del Este that anything could be faked. But, there's no telling when Paraguay's stocks will run out and I have an unwavering mistrust of medical advice down here...